 In a day of instant connectedness it is really easy to want to announce something you have been working on for 9 months…YOUR baby! What an exciting time for you. And you know you have a whole lot of friends and family waiting to hear the news.
GUESS WHAT? It does not matter if they hear that news 5 minutes after the birth, 5 hours after the birth or even 5 days after the birth, if that is how long you choose. I do encourage you to wait longer than 5 minutes though. Those first few hours are oh, so precious. And they will not ever happen again. You cannot get them back & do it differently. You need to live in the moment at this time. There is no past and no future. There is just "right now". I promise you, you will feel like the world stopped as you welcome your baby. Embrace that. Be selfish about it. This is your baby. In that first hour or two after birth, your baby wants to re-connect with you. That baby has been only connected to you for 9 months. Now, it needs to re-connect in a new way. Be mindful in this moment. Stay focused on your baby. You will have enough people in the birth room, you don't need to get on the phone, or Instagram or Facebook, or FaceTime or SnapChat. Limit the distractions. Even sending a quick text with the announcement creates ripples you might not think of…like unexpected visitors at the hospital without your knowledge. I have seen it a few times now that a text goes out, parents get busy & don't respond to returned texts (duh, they just had a baby, of course they are busy) of “when can we come to the hospital” and as we walk out of Labour & Birth, visitors are waiting in the waiting room and simply follow along to the Mother Baby Unit. New parents don't want to say “get out” & they shouldn't have to. So they don’t, but they do later confide in me they wished they had had more time before visitors arrived. When we lose our focus, we lose momentum. And so do babies. In those first few hours, they are trying to adapt and make a little sense of their world. It’s hard work for them to learn to feed and get to know mommy a new way & meet daddy on the outside world, figure out that the hospital staff are different people and keep going. It is even harder to do when they are being stroked, picked up, passed around, kissed by everyone and all the chatter and squeals of excitement. Babies need to have time to learn now this all works. Teach them gently. Again, be selfish about it. Allow yourself to transition to mothering and fathering. And then decide when and how to tell everyone. You will be much more level headed and able to answer questions about when you want visitors and can handle the commotion and are ready to be vulnerable to people. This is one moment in your life that you will feel the most vulnerable. Protect yourself, too! P.S. Do yourself a favour and don't send out "I am in labour texts"…your phone will go nuts! And people might decide to camp out in the hospital waiting room once you stop responding. I promise, in labour, you no longer give a damn about your phone! |
Kim Smith
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